ELVIS MOVIE SEASON
Ranking the Films
I had an Elvis movie season over Christmas 2023. I had planned on having a mini-season of just ten movies, in fond remembrance of the ten Elvis movies that the BBC showed over the Christmas of 1977. The plan was to watch an Elvis film a day from Christmas Eve into the New Year. I soon found that I was enjoying myself so much that I decided to watch them all - at least, all the films I own, making extreme efforts to track down the few I didn't see. I am desperate to locate Kissin' Cousins, a film that critics (and fans) routinely claim to be so awful it is best avoided. I’m not so sure. Said same people claim Harum Scarum to be even worse, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching it over Christmas. There’s no accounting for taste.
Much depends on what you enjoy and what kind of mood you are in. Sometimes a little idle pleasure grace of undemanding entertainment is all that you need (or can cope with in a mad world going madder). I watched without prejudice and expectation and found that I enjoyed a number of the films I had previously barely tolerated. Or maybe I just got comfortably numb. Watching an Elvis film a day is weirdly compelling. Before long, you enter another world, and find yourself most at home there.
My ratings make no pretence at objective assessment and are based entirely on their enjoyment factor as I watched them, one and sometimes two a day over Christmas and New Year. My purpose here is not to write a guide to the Elvis movies but simply to record my thoughts and impressions. I shall accordingly keep the comments brief and on point.
I already had my personal favourites, but determined to give the unfancied films a careful look as if I were watching them for the first time. I had never much liked Love Me Tender, Harum Scarum, Easy Come, Easy Go, and Frankie and Johnny, but found them very enjoyable this time around. That might, in part, have been as a result of their unfamiliarity, having avoided them over the years. It was like watching a new movie.
My least favourite films never change. I’m not keen on westerns the best of times, but Charro leaves me cold, as does nearly everything and everyone about Speedway. World’s Fair has a leading lady with zero charisma and chemistry - she patently didn't like Elvis and wasn't a good enough actress to make it look otherwise (it should have been Yvonne Craig! (Even though she doesn't look too keen, either)) G.I.Blues used to be my favourite from my youth, but I’ve seen it a million times now. Then again, any movie that has Wooden Heart in it is always going to be a contender. Follow that Dream is the one Elvis film I can show to non-Elvis fans knowing that they’ll more than likely love it. And Kid Galahad is the greatest boxing musical in history (and its praiseworthy mention allows me to say I’ve been to Idyllwild where it was shot).
Without further ado, let’s look at the films in chronological order.
1956 Love Me Tender
I haven’t paid much attention to this film in the past, dismissing it as a B-movie ‘horse opera’ which was merely a vehicle to initiate Elvis the inexperienced actor into Hollywood. I remember being bored when I first saw the film, and felt no great desire to see it again. I didn’t think Elvis particularly convincing in his role, and still don’t think that Elvis acts particularly well in the film. Richard Egan and Debra Paget are the strength of the film, which is much more than a ‘horse opera’ it is often claimed to be. It’s a good story. And an unusual one, one that engages and intrigues. Watching the film again, I’m struck by how very well done it is, with an engaging story and believable characters. The songs also sound better in the film than they do on record, although Elvis’ attempts to rock out in the aftermath of the Civil War are somewhat incongruous. His moves on Let Me are a lot more excited than the song itself. Poor Boy is a highlight. It was one of my mother’s favourites. She would often recall the film as the first sight people in the UK got of Elvis, the future king of rock’n’roll .. pulling a plough in a distant field .. Egan is a strong presence whilst Debra Paget, somewhat underused, looks good mounting a horse. Things got a bit heated towards the end, with Paget the centre of sexual attentions. Life is merely a war over money, power, sex, and social position, the rest is just story-telling. It’s the kind of stuff that draws a crowd and holds the attention for all that. I still think Elvis’ acting performance, and the tale of two brothers marrying the same woman could have been more incendiary than the train robbery. But it’s a good film for all that, a proper film rather than merely a musical vehicle for a star talent. Could Elvis have made it as a straight actor? Bear in mind that he lacked training and was being called on to do things here that require weeks, months, and maybe years of training. I’ve seen this movie two or three times before. This is the first time I’ve actually enjoyed it. Once you look beyond it is Elvis in his first film and get into the story, it is really rather good.
7/10
1957 Loving You
This film is always enjoyable, no matter how many times you’ve seen it. Elvis looks and sounds so good rocking in blue denim that many consider this to be the classic image of Elvis in the fifties. It is anything but. Elvis was not a country cowboy in denim but the Memphis Flash kitted out by Lansky’s on Beale Street. The songs, however, are superb and Elvis’ performance electrifying, ensuring that the film will always loom large in fans’ memories. In truth, the story is trite and familiar and the script utterly appalling. There are also ominous signs of things to come. Elvis’ future demise via commerce and entrapment is written out in big capital letters and repeated ad nauseum:
‘He’s got something for the girls.’ ‘I’m a girl.’ ‘Look at the women, what’s he doing to them.’ No musical talent, only sex appeal to cash in on while youthful vigour lasts. That’s the message spelled out early, and repeated throughout. Once you look beyond the songs and start to follow the story, it is hard to get the cynicism, reductionism, exploitation, and manipulation out of your head. Elvis escapes to the purity of the countryside and the virginal (and future nun) Dolores Hart, an image which forms a stark contrast to the cynicism of the world of commerce – ‘sex is America’s greatest commodity,’ says his manageress, the non-virginal older woman who will do whatever she has to do win ownership of ‘the kid.’ Make of it what you will. I can’t help but see the figure of Elvis’ odious mismanager Tom Parker screwing Elvis over from the first.
‘You are going to the top and you are going alone,’ says the innocent and pure Dolores Hart. She entered a convent a few years later, and Elvis went to the top. It’s all too prophetic to be truly enjoyable, with the devious, manipulative management pulling him back into the commercial treadmill. ‘How can a person who has got no home be homesick,’ Elvis asks.
It’s the songs and their performance that make the film seem so much better than it actually is – they are exceptional and that’s what people remember. The rest has some revealing lines, in light of how Elvis’ career unfolded, but can be mostly cut. The surly, prickly arguments over non-issues is utterly contrived to make Elvis look more of a rebel than he is. The man alone got his break in the film at the urging of his mechanic friend, who made it clear that Elvis’ talent was known to his friends, and that Elvis the loner did indeed have friends. Rebel without a clue fighting issues over nothing. He and the band are put into Hopalong Cassidy suits, to ‘look the part.’ He rebels – again – when it is proposed he is given a special name. The constant arguments over absolutely nothing, or merely things only hinted at, soon become tiresome. The story of the sudden rise of a nobody to fame and fortune is the oldest tale in the book. It’s repeated over and again because people like it. But there isn’t much to the story, hence the need for any number of contrived ‘dramas’ of no interest whatsoever, which serve to drag the film out and almost knock it down as the predictably happy ending approaches. The film could lose 20 minutes and be all the better for it. The defence of rock’n’roll meant a lot more then than it does now, and dates the film badly – ‘the kids are alright’ and will one day grow out of it. It’s obvious that no-one involved had any idea just how big rock was going to be in the sixties and seventies. Elvis is in court, the travelling show is about to collapse, and then Elvis turns up at the eleventh hour and saves the day. It’s like coming off the subs bench and scoring the winner in a cup final. Just play the music, the rest is a fuss over nothing. The songs and their performance carry the whole flimsy vehicle – a rags to riches story, country boy makes good by .. starting as a rock and rhythm singer and ending on a cowboy show. I’m ambivalent. I’m inclined to take marks off for the trite storyline and then add them back for the cynical and prophetic underlying message The end with Elvis’ grovelling tribute to his manipulative manager is vomitacious – ‘if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t even be here.’ Thank you Tom Parker. Ugh! Ten for the music, six for the story, eight for the revealing subtext.
8/10
1957 Jailhouse Rock
I didn’t see it, so can’t comment. I know it well, of course, and my view never changes: pound-for-pound Elvis' best soundtrack, unappealing character, cynical story, somewhat annoying and depressing. I shall give my usual score.
7/10
1958 King Creole
I’ve always thought this to be Elvis’ best film and, watching it for the umpteenth time, see no reason to change my view. In fact, I’d forgotten just how good film it is. It has the coolest opening scene to any movie ever. It’s well-scripted, well-acted by a fantastic cast, well-shot in black and white, dramatic and gripping. And it has a stunning soundtrack. I enjoyed this very much. Elvis is in the company of some fine acting talent here, and doesn’t look out of place. I don’t have anything more to say, other than the virginal Dolores Hart is in it again, only for Elvis to run off with another older woman, who gets shot and killed, with Elvis returning to his sweetheart and his old night club to save the day. Again. All is well, and all wrongs are righted, the old order is safe.
10/10
1960 G.I. Blues
I have seen the film so many times now that it no longer contains any surprises. It’s not a film with many layers. Or any. It is what it is. It’s a simple enough plot, jolly G.I.s at play. The play involves bets and baby sitting. And singing to puppets. It depends on what you think of singing to and flirting with puppets. The film really only catches fire with Juliette Prowse’s dance scenes. My Nin didn’t like Juliette Prowse. At all. It’s slight but endearing. My enjoyment levels with respect to this film wax and wane. Remembering it fondly, I always watch disappointed at how flimsy it is; watching with low expectations, I’m always pleasantly surprised. This was the first Elvis film I ever saw at the cinema, as part of a double bill with Blue Hawaii. It was a real treat at the time and remains a memory of the happiest of the happy days. Looking back, there is a sadness in realising that those days are gone, and the film isn't all that we once thought it was. Watching at Christmas, I couldn't help but hark back to those days past, a time when the people whom I loved, and who loved me in turn, were alive, and making memories that haunt the present. Still, Wooden Heart is a cheery song!
6/10
1960 Flaming Star
This is a tense psychological western involving a serious acting role for Elvis. He’s very convincing. The fight scenes are good. He goes native and gets himself shot. It’s an action film with quite a deep story to it. The story gets a little lost in the action that comes later on. But it’s a proper western. With an odd ending.
7/10
1961 Wild in the Country
This is a serious film which has all the credentials: from a novel by Salamanca, directed by Philip Dunne, screenplay by Clifford Odets.
It starts with the very nice title track set to peaceful country scenes, then brings us to a fight in a barn, and Elvis running away into the country. It turns out he has been involved in a fight and killed his rival with an axe.
Elvis is back playing the surly youth, and in truth is rather mature for the troubled boy he was playing in the role. Elvis is hardly a boy and the mature woman psychiatrist who takes him under her wing is hardly that much older. Suspension of disbelief required. I lost count of the times Elvis was referred to as a ‘boy’ in the opening eight minutes – a dozen times, easily. He is convicted, sent to live with his uncle, which must mean that the sex-kitten Tuesday Weld is his cousin. Then the virginal Millie Perkins of Diary of Anne Frank fame turns up. And they say the Elvis films were formulaic. As the policeman in Clockwise says: ‘it’s going to take some sorting out, this.’
I’ve always liked the film, so watched with high expectations. The problem with high expectations is that you tend to notice the flaws more. Elvis playing the surly misunderstood boy wasn’t appealing in Jailhouse Rock, and makes my teeth itch at the umpteenth repetition. It is stereotype and caricature rather than genuine characterisation, an attempt to put him in the mould of James Dean and Brando – and it gives him little to do beyond pouting and posing. This movie is far from being the worst example, though. Personally, I would have shown someone so brattily obnoxious the door almost immediately. But I’m not the archetypal ‘older woman.’ All that stuff about his poor long suffering mother makes my teeth itch, too. It’s overblown and overdone, overly torrid, the angst and drama layered on trowel thick, to the accompaniment of violins. Insufferable. Oh, and he reads books and therefore counts as sensitive, an aspiring intellectual if you please. And a hard worker. An all-round good boy, then, who worthy of being helped. Three females queue up to do the helping. Tuesday Weld is fiery and flirtatious; Millie Perkins cold and pure; Hope Lange the older woman interested in the boy’s personal development and psychological issues. If he didn’t have issues before meeting these three women, he most assuredly would after. So Elvis sings I Slipped, I Stumbled, I Fell to Millie Perkins in the truck as he drives her home. How could she resist such seduction? (she looks 'awkward'). ‘It needs a man to go to Hell with,’ Tuesday Weld says at another point. Tuesday Wild. He’s got two different girls with two different roads to drive, one bad, one good, one wild, the other just-so. The psychiatrist offers a third road – discipline, formal education, writing, and hard work – just what his dear old long gone mum would have wanted. You just know Elvis is going to cop-out by avoiding the sexual dilemmas to go back to school, the older woman winning out in the most conventional way – Elvis taking advice and going off to study.
It’s a pot-boiler that drags a bit. In fact it drags a lot. The film would have been much better had it lived up to its title and got a bit wilder than it did. It occasionally threatens to explode into life. There’s the odd fight. And Elvis dragging Tuesday Weld into the bathroom was fairly hot, though, for all that it failed to deliver. Then they both get drunk and go and pay the psychiatrist a visit at her home in the night. And he bails out again. Then bails in again. In-out sums up the movie with its equivocation and constant dithering. It wears thin as soon as you realize that none of the issues are ever going to be resolved. The movie does get going, eventually, and the motel scene with Hope Lange is pretty torrid – perhaps the most sensual of Elvis’ entire movie career. But he bails out again. Keep your mind free, and hands free, don’t get tied down with women, and work hard and you’ll make yourself a great writer. This is how Elvis stands to lose three women possessed of very different attractions and gain a career as writer who works and lives alone, giving his talent for the good of humanity and other such earnest notions. Instead, he robs his uncle, concusses his rival in a fight, drives off with Tuesday Weld, and gets arrested for manslaughter. Genius. But I suppose writing is like being in a prison. The film ends with an inquest and a trial. The truth comes out, Elvis is acquitted and goes off to college. The fool. This is how Elvis loses three women possessed of very different attractions and gains a career as writer who works and lives alone, giving his talent for the good of humanity and other such earnest notions.
The film is uneven and laboured and doesn’t punch the weight of its intriguing storyline. It promises but doesn't deliver. But it’s an interesting one for all that. What, with murder, teenage pregnancies, attempted suicide, and possibilities of incest, it’s a bit different from the usual Elvis film. Not so much Peyton Place on steroids as illicit substances. At least in outline. And not a bikini and beach party in site.
8/10
1961 Blue Hawaii
Shallow it may be, but it is bright and colourful, which was something when you remember watching it in grey and rainy northern England. The ‘storyline’ is utterly implausible, Elvis just out of the army, but acting like a teenager. There are a few amusing scenes.
Abigail Prentice: Mr Gates, do you think you can satisfy a school teacher and four teenage girls?
Chad Gates: Oh, I'll sure try, ma'am. I-I'll do all I can.
The (unintentional) joke is that he doesn't: it is the school teacher and the teenage girls are a whole lot keener than he is. And the spanking scene is one to be seen and still not believed. Elvis chaperoning a party of teenage girls whilst fighting off the competing claims of warring women creates something of an unfortunate template. If he gets away with it here it is only because of the blue seas and skies of the scenery. That it was a box office smash has nothing to do with the story. The film has the obligatory happy ending, which at least is suitably grand and very well done with the ballad Hawaiian Wedding Song. In fact, it is a very strong soundtrack (with the odd clunker letting it down - Ito Eats and Slicin' Sand). The movie looks good and it sounds good. It passes the time, in a meandering sort of way. I give it an extra point for the sheer audacity of it. Others would take a couple of points off for the same reason. It was huge at the box office, and it is easy to see why. It’s undemanding on the eye and the ear.
7/10
1962 Follow That Dream
Genuinely funny and very warm and endearing. Elvis plays the funny lines straight and is flawless in doing so. It’s a great story, too: Elvis the simpleton seeing off the sharks and predators and getting the pretty girl. I enjoyed this very much. I always did. There are many funny scenes and lines. Playing things dead-pan takes real ability to be believable and Elvis pulls it off with aplomb. Simple guy beats the gangsters! It’s a cute film, a feel-good film.
10/10
1962 Kid Galahad
The greatest boxing musical ever. This has a strong plot and strong cast. It’s very well done. The story interests and holds the attention beyond Elvis’ presence. I was actually interested in seeing how things unfolded. There are few songs, but they are very decent and well-sung. The most remarkable thing is that people would think it possible that Elvis could make a lot of money by his boxing abilities – which seem to involve getting pummelled relentlessly until he finds a knock-out punch from nowhere - and no-one thinks to mention a possible career as a singer.
9/10
1962 Girls! Girls! Girls!
What you see – and hear – is what you get. What you think of this film depends on what your expectations are – and what mood you are in. As with G.I.Blues, my appreciation of this film waxes and wanes. I usually find it tedious but, when having nothing better to do, and lacking the energy to make the effort, it passes the time amiably. The film starts off with a lovely hymn to girls, then cuts to Elvis out at sea fishing for fish. Boats and girls, then, which is at least a wild variation on the usual cars and girls story. Elvis is in his element as a singing fisherman. The story is more substantial story than that in Blue Hawaii, but that probably makes it worse – travelogues don’t need distracting details and deviations, and rivalries over boats and tuna fish hardly makes for compelling viewing. It has a lot of songs, and is bright and breezy. It depends on what you think about boats. Elvis does his best Jackie Wilson impersonation on Return to Sender. Songs sung to / performed with ‘cute’ kids and grannies annoy. Idle and twee, and an obvious attempt to cover all markets. I’ve enjoyed it in the past, but rather endured it this time of watching. Laurel Goodwin seems impossibly young for a leading lady, but excites Elvis enough in the dancing scenes.
6/10
1963 It Happened at the World's Fair
I thought this was awful. I wasn’t expecting much. I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised. I’ve never liked this film, ever. I thought it boring and terrible the first time I saw it in the 1970s and I’ve seen nothing in it since to change my mind. Elvis is chasing a pretty nurse, all dressed as a proper adult woman (well why not?) But the story and ‘drama’ is punctuated by the presence of an annoying child, with the non-action constantly being broken off by Elvis singing soppy songs to said ‘cute’ child. There is no chemistry with the leading lady, who couldn’t make it more obvious she can’t stand Elvis whatsoever. I’m not saying she’s cold, but a light comes on every time she opens her mouth. There are a few decent songs in this, but are so poorly staged as to ruin them. The film does have Yvonne Craig, but she isn’t in it for long. The scene with Elvis trying to seduce her whilst singing Relax could have been so much better. Had Yvonne Craig been made leading lady, she might have been inclined to show more interest, as opposed to showing absolutely none. And who can blame her, playing second fiddle to an iceberg. Boring, tedious, unconvincing. The film livens up with the gangsters with guns at the end, but they are undone when the annoying child bites the finger of one. That’s as good as it gets. I think this was one for the soppy females in the Elvis fandom. Terribly bland. Yvonne Craig must have been relieved to have been able to clear off early on. The marks here are for three or four of the songs and Yvonne Craig – lots of marks off for the rest of it.
4/10
1963 Fun in Acapulco
Blue Hawaii .. in Mexico. Or in one of the backlots of Hollywood. Like Blue Hawaii, it is easy on the eyes and the ears. It's very exotic. Instead of Hawaiian guitars we get Mexican trumpets. And Ursula Andress. Escapism, then. It’s entertaining. There’s worse things. There’s an almost ‘iconic Ursula Andress scene’ in reverse when she gets out of the pool. Marks off for the annoying child who, bizarrely, is Elvis’ manager, haggling away like Tom Parker, making somebodies out of nobodies. Elvis should simply have said ‘no’ and used his star power to refuse. But he always claimed to have had no power once contracts were signed. It’s light years away from rock’n’roll. And the idea of Ursula Andress as a twenty-seven year old virgin asking permission from her father to get married is like the fifties never happened. The plot is ludicrous, the script even worse. The ‘drama’ drags the whole thing down, and I was glad for the times we got back to sound and vision. The best bits are in sight and sound. The most believable thing about it is Elvis singing in Spanish – he’s rather good on Guadalajara. Or at least he sounds good to my non-Spanish ears. Extra marks for this at the end. But the most abiding feeling left by this film is the sheer lack of imagination that went into its making. It’s just product. In an interview Ursula Andress said they did nothing with her in the film, merely dressed her up in a hair band so as not to upset the little virgins who she claimed were the staple of the Elvis film audience by this point. They could have done much more. Even had they tried and failed woefully it would have been better than this effort. Still, I have a soft spot for the sounds.
6/10
1964 Kissin' Cousins
I didn't see it this Christmas, but remember it well if not exactly fondly. It's ludicrous. It's got two Elvises and batgirl. And lots of girls. I thought it was the worst film I had ever seen when I first saw it, until I saw Stay Away Joe a few days later.
6/10
1964 Viva Las Vegas
Fantastic! It’s lively and looks good. I don’t care for the cars and the races. But Ann-Margret is in feisty form, and inspired Elvis to up his game. The songs are great, the dancing thrilling, and there is a real buzz in the air. So good that you overlook the typically trite story line.
9/10
1964 Roustabout
This film always struck me as something of a combination of Loving You and Jailhouse Rock, and still does: the unappealing, surly, attitude, the Carny atmosphere, the bad boy coming good and saving the day storyline. Elvis has done it before. The difference is that the former boasted an outstanding soundtrack, and Elvis was much younger and on the way up; the Roustabout soundtrack is packed with film fodder – there wasn’t even a single release from the soundtrack. Strong characters with acting ability make the story more compelling than it is. It has a more serious edge than the typical Elvis vehicle and holds the attention. But the endless contention – over nothing, frankly – tests the patience. Some of the songs are well-presented, though. And it has a cheery ending. I enjoyed the happy ending, for once, and added a point for that. 'There's a brand new day on the horizon' to the tune of This Little Light of Mine.
7/10
1965 Girl Happy
This is not a film I had much of a memory of, so wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I put it on. It is ludicrous but amiable enough. And obvious. The opening scene showing a young woman in a bikini on the beach introduces the main theme. The film has Mary Ann Mobly, who was a Miss America beauty queen. It’s got a beat-group theme going on, which seems to be an attempt to show that the Elvis camp have finally got with the beat-music of the new bands. Elvis and his band are dressed in trendy outfits, which look like holiday camp uniforms, appearing at a club packed with the prematurely middle-aged and embalmed. He would have been better off at Butlins. He ‘brings in the business.’ In the context of the swinging sixties this is a parallel universe. All the references to ‘girls, girls, girls’ in Fort Lauderdale are remarkably twee and unsexy. ‘All the girls are going to Fort Lauderdale.’ These girls talk about being at school, yet one appeals to her father to let her go to Fort Lauderdale because she is 21! People in their twenties are talking and behaving as if they were 14 year olds! It’s like rock’n’roll had never happened. This film was years out of date, with Elvis becoming precisely what he wasn’t in the fifties. Just as The Beatles et al were taking pop music into another age.
The meat of the story involves girls in bikinis being ogled by the pool. ‘Those girls are nothing. Take away their bathing suits and what do they have?’ One for those blessed with an imagination. To aid those without there is the song: ‘Girls on the beaches commit a sin, if they don’t show yards and yards of skin,’ Elvis croons to Shelley Fabares, who is unpersuaded and does her best to stay away. It’s all incredibly juvenile. Adults playing at boys and girls. Safe, fake, false fun. ‘In the next life I’d like to come back as a beach towel.’ It’s a one gag film. 21 year old adults trying to escape parental control. It is entertaining and eye- and ear-catching, if not always for the best reasons. I'm adding a point or two for 'obvious' reasons, knowing that the less shallow with more refined tastes would take double those points off for the same reason. In my defence, I have never claimed to be a movie buff.
5/10
1965 Tickle Me
If ever a film counted as a guilty pleasure, then it is surely this one. At least it is if you may more attention than you should to the critics. And a lot of the fans. I have the feeling I should be thoroughly ashamed of myself for enjoying this film so much, or at all. But I’m not. I can only say what I see, going by immediate reactions, and putting any deeper thoughts in parenthesis.
The film gets off to a racy, pacy start, down the Long Lonely Highway in a greyhound bus. Elvis is the ‘man with no name’, the man alone, riding into town. He’s been that thing before and will be it again. So far, so familiar. But already there is a difference – the songs are of a different quality, a high quality. The film was done on the cheap and so there was no soundtrack, the songs being culled from studio albums already released. It’s rather a cheap and tawdrey waste of some great songs, not least because they are so cheesily staged, the use of the good in support of the bad. But they are good songs all the same.
Elvis pulls into town looking for a job, and finds one at a health ranch for nubile young women looking to get fit. You would have thought that a health farm would have been full of grossly obese women of a certain age. But, no, not in the Elvis film world. None of these women look particularly out of shape, or out of shape at all. Handily enough, Elvis is told that ’we are looking at the “after” girls’ and not the ‘before’ girls. The film is that good/bad (delete as appropriate, or according to taste).
Elvis is hired by a woman as ‘the right man for the job’ – another woman boss, then. As to what the job is, he finds himself on a ‘guest ranch’ for models and career girls, to get them in shape. ‘You’re doing a pretty good job.’ ‘Is anything wrong?’ ‘No, but I’ve never been kissed by my boss before.’ That’s not true, in either the literal or metaphorical sense.
And then we are introduced to Jocelyn Lane as she takes an outdoor class for exercises. This scene is etched in the memory of those shallow of mind, with Lane staking her claim to having been the greatest leading lady Elvis ever had right there.
You could be forgiven for thinking that this scene sets the template for the rest of the film, making it yet another variation on ‘girls, girls, girls.’ And much that happens as the film unfolds would prove those initial impressions right, hence the poor reputation of the film. Elvis does his job and gets to grip with the girls on the ranch. ‘They don’t make girls who are not interested.’ Or interesting. So there are lots of them. In bikinis and tight shorts. Sports wear. It’s all ‘strictly business.’ I have a theory. Elvis’ female fan base wanted Elvis, Elvis’ male fan base wanted great songs or, in their absence, lots of girls. I’m no expert psychologist, but I will guess that this film isn’t popular with Elvis’ female fans. I’m just judging by the reactions of certain female family members to certain scenes in certain Elvis films.
But there is more to the film than the parade of young women swooning incontinently in improbably compromising situations. Whether that ‘more’ saves the film or sinks it without trace depends upon your tastes. There is a search for lost treasure in a haunted hotel in a ghost town with real ghosts, Silverado. It is said that when there is a storm, the old timers come down from the hills and whoop it up. We are asked to envisage the place in the old days, cowboys out for a good time with the dancing girls. And none other than Jenny Lind, the opera singer known as ‘the Swedish Nightingale’, is said to have once sung here in the mid nineteenth century. And we get to see them again. Jocelyn Lane in a green sparkly dress, looking for all the world like a green silverfish. She doesn’t much look like Jenny Lind. But it makes for a good time.
Then there is the humour – slapstick, a kind of Three Stooges blended with Scooby Do. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. There are some genuinely funny scenes – if that’s your sense of humour. I’m adding marks here, when others might be taking them away.
Elvis and friend pursue Jocelyn Lane to the ghost town, where they are hit by a desert cloud burst, the shapely Jocelyn getting all wet in her tight-fitting clothes (the description is for purposes of accuracy, making it easier for people to judge whether this film is incredibly good or irredeemably awful – sometimes a guilty pleasure is just plain guilty). Lane refuses to come out of the rain to spend the night in the haunted hotel, so Elvis picks her up, throws her over his shoulder, and spanks her. There are times when even I run out of words. ‘That wasn’t at all necessary,’ she objects, the deed long since done. Probably not. But people always remember it.
And then they go on to spend some time on sleeping arrangements in the haunted hotel. ‘Better get you out of those wet clothes as soon as possible.’ ‘You couldn’t ask for more than this.’ We get a rain storm in the dark, with doors and windows banging, all manner of terrors being imagined, a face at the window, all manner of shenanigins and chases and fights, until the jackpot is found and a foundation of coins come pouring down, and the ghosts are unmasked as the crooks they are. Scooby Do. With Jocelyn Lane and without a stupid dog.
Then they drive off into the sun to the tune of ‘slowly but surely I’m gonna wear you down.’
I have described the movie as accurately, objectively, and dispassionately as I can in order to allow people make their own assessment. Me, I loved it, and can’t wait to see it again, just to make sure my account of it is accurate, you understand. In the words of Jocelyn Lane, 'well!'
10/10
1965 Harum Scarum
I had little expectation of this film, since many Elvis fans rate it as Elvis’ worst. I found it entertaining and amusing, I have to say. If the plot is utterly ludicrous, the absurdity is part of the appeal. As the film came to its unbelievable end I was already looking forward to seeing it again. It’s Elvis and girls again, but girls with a difference. Unusual. Which is another way of saying ludicrous. I also enjoyed trying to work out what on Earth was going on. Indescribable.
7/10
1966 Frankie and Johnny
Good bright opening with the invitation to ‘Come Along,’ good scenery, well-shot, with colourful costumes, and something of a storyline. In fact the film as a whole is full of colour. Donna Douglas is feisty foil. She has the greatest little bank in America, it is claimed. Even the songs which don’t quite stand up on record make perfect sense in performance. It’s vibrant. Vaudeville, showboats, incredible dresses. That it has absolutely nothing to do with what was going on in the music world at the time is part of its appeal. It seems none other than Harry Nilsson enjoyed it very much, in the way it harks back to a pre-rock’n’roll world of song and entertainment. Elvis was in a world of his own. Which, oddly, means that these strangely out of time movies haven’t dated one little bit. The problem with being ‘with it’ in the sixties is that there is a good chance you will be out of date when the sixties come to an end. Another happy ending. Why does everyone always get married at the end?
7/10
1966 Paradise, Hawaiian Style
I have seen this film more than any other Elvis film. Which is not a good thing, because it’s not a film that can stand repetition. It seems to have been shown on TV more than any other Elvis film, and I feel duty bound to watch it because it is Elvis. There are no hidden depths. The storyline is lame, and Elvis looks and sounds bored. There is an annoying child, and three contenders for the worst Elvis song ever. It’s a return to Hawaii but the film is so badly shot that the colours seem dull. This is a strong contender for the worst Elvis film of all. This is My Heaven is a divine song, though.
3/10
1966 Spinout
Elvis in a fast car, with lots of faster girls. The film starts with a race on the road, cars come off the road, and Elvis threatens to put the young woman who ran him off the road over his knee and ‘paddle’ her ‘bottom.’ The young woman is Shelley Fabares, who was 22 years old at the time. This is a recurring theme. Is it a metaphor? As for the actual plot – rich girl wants Elvis and his band to perform for her in return for a lot of money, and Elvis, all ideals, refuses seeing as he is booked up and refuses on principle to break his commitments. It’s another attempt to place Elvis in a band and beat group environment, but the uniforms in clubs of the prematurely middle aged make this appallingly anti-Beatle. It’s safe and boring.
5/10
1967 Easy Come, Easy Go
Another film with a poor reputation that I enjoyed immensely. Elvis is in boats rather than cars this time, but there is more of a plot, more twists and turns than usual, and women that actually look like women rather than girls. It’s an attempt to catch up with the swinging sixties, but Elvis larking around in uniform at the time of Vietnam is utterly cack-handed and gets the film off to a bad start. Which is a shame, because the title track sung in uniform in a boat is a very decent rocker. The ladies in bikinis on the boats are good, though, with Pat Priest of Munsters fame in good form. The film itself starts with a dancing Go-Go girl. Elvis introduces himself to the dancer as an ‘underwater barnacle scraper,’ a line that would sweep any girl off her feet. The songs are decent contemporary rockers. The Love Machine has a wheel of girls in bikinis… it's as tasteful as that. Sing You Children, Sing is an infectious revivalist tune with horns. The film ‘boasts’ Yoga Is As Yoga Does, the Bride of Frankenstein, modern art, happenings, and nubile young women in bikinis being coated in paint and rolled across a canvas. ‘People make fun of what they don’t understand.’ It's best to watch without prejudice. It’s bonkers barking mad, of course. Elvis as a frogman diving for buried treasure. But I’ve always had a soft spot for underwater scenes. And Pat Priest seems most excited in the closing scenes. The film ends with Elvis and his band singing I’ll Take Love. You probably have to in this film. It’s supposed to be hip, but this is the swinging sixties re-imagined by middle class people for middle-aged people, both lacking an imagination. Still, it’s got groovy chicks with tambourines and maracas. I have a feeling I wouldn’t like it so much should I watch it again any time soon.
7/10
1967 Double Trouble
I didn't see it and haven't seen it for a long while. I remember the film fondly for City by Night. And nothing else.
1967 Clambake
The story is a reworking of the Prince and the Pauper tale. Elvis is a rich kid who wants to make it on his own. ‘Who needs money?’ A lot could have been done with that premise, but it’s basically more cars, girls, and beaches. The moral is: you can get cars and girls with or without money. Despite losing the top of her bikini water-skiing, Shelley Fabares is as squeaky clean as ever. It’s a stunt that has been pulled before in an Elvis film, Blue Hawaii. You already know that nothing will be on display, so it doesn’t even work as a tease. There is the obligatory awful song with ‘cute’ kids, which drags proceedings down. The film would have been better had it been shorter and without filler. That includes the beach party with bikinis. The twist on the rich-poor inversion is neither well-done nor even developed much beyond its stating, the film meanders and it’s all a bit shallow and lifeless. Shelley Fabares is anodyne. The fast boats are as interesting as fast cars, which is to say not interesting at all to me. It’s amiable but idle. Elvis wins the race and buys Shelley a ring with the winnings and comes clean about being a rich kid. She passes out. Quite funny.
6/10
1968 Stay Away, Joe
Heavens to Murgatroyd! This is a car crash. Fighting, drinking, womanising. Good grief. I remember the first time I saw this film, thinking that the fighting, drinking, and womanising was an overly long prelude that would at some point end and allow the film to begin. Halfway through, it struck me that that was the film’s plot. The ‘Dominic’ scene is something else. The girls wear Elvis out as they entice him up the mountain discarding their clothes, one item at a time. By the time he gets to the top he is exhausted, not least because he has been singing a song about ‘Dominic, the Impotent Bull’ whilst running up the hill. That description makes the film sound much better than it is. Then there is the mother taking a gun to Elvis every time she catches him with her teenage daughter, which is often. I’m still making the film sound much better than it is. It is wretched! It’s almost unwatchable. It wins extra points for the strangely compelling nature of its scenes – like a car crash. And the less said about racial stereotypes the better. But at least it is better than anodyne.
I still can’t judge Stay Away Joe, and, for the purposes of this piece, don't need to. I still don't quite know what I feel watching it, either. I thought it the worst film I had ever seen when I first saw it, and it may still be a very strong candidate. It’s so ramshackle that I like to think Elvis was just having a laugh at Hollywood’s expense, laughing in contempt at the people who had shown such contempt for him. But it’s weirdly compelling. I like to go back and find hidden layers in the seemingly pointless mayhem. It’s not formulaic, that’s for sure. I’m not sure what it is, but I think finding something vital and humorous in the worst circumstances might be the point. It’s an odd one. I’ll have to watch it again. You always find something you’ve missed in it. But going off what I felt at what I saw when I was seeing it, I can only say ‘what the hell is this?’
6/10
1968 Speedway
This was clearly an attempt to regain the heights of Viva Las Vegas, but misses the mark by a very wide margin. It’s not so much that the plot is weak – soo, too, was the plot for Viva Las Vegas – that the acting is tired rather than enthusiastic. Nancy Sinatra might have been a big name at the time but she is no Ann-Margret. She is cold and plastic. There’s no chemistry. The film opens with ten minutes of a car race, which is like watching paint dry for me, and kills interest almost immediately. Let Yourself Go is good, with lots of groovy chicks. It’s a good song, but it’s all performance and pastiche, and not entirely convincing (compare and contrast with Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In by either Jerry Lee Lewis or Kenny Rogers). We are worlds away from the thrilling performances in the fifties movies, which were also pastiche, but grounded in something substantial and still close to the roots. There’s no edge, no danger, no thrill – and no sense of breaking new ground. We get the usual ‘cute’ song to the usual ‘cute’ kid. Then it goes aimlessly on. More cars.
This film just drags and meanders. It’s not remotely interesting. This film is dead. The gags are lame. There’s no chemistry, no magic, no sparkle. Cars are boring. Nancy Sinatra even more. It’s just nothing. Unmemorable. There ain’t nothing like a song makes for a lively ending, though.
3/10
1968 Live a Little, Love a Little
Utterly bizarre. Elvis is captured by a strange woman (Michelle Carey) who goes by several names. The delivery boy turns up, asks for Susie, and, realising he’s been beaten to the starting line, promises to get there first next time. To get where takes no great imagination to guess. Said strange woman has different names for different moods (men). Elvis sings Almost in Love to Michelle Carey and A Little Less Conversation to Celeste Yarnel. He even shares a bed with Michelle Carey, with a wooden plank as a dividing line. She gets a splinter in an embarrassing place and doesn’t even ask for it to be removed. Elvis is also accosted in the shower by said strange woman. And sings a song with a giant dog (a man in a costume). The mind does boggleth. I liked it. I’m not quite sure what ‘it’ is, however. Inconclusive. The film is subject to diminishing returns. When you first see it you can't help but be intrigued by the unusual premise and its possibilities. When you see that the movie never explores those possibilities, merely goes round in circles resolving nothing, interest wanes. I'll say this for the Elvis operation, if imagination was in short supply, so, too, was courage. I’ve always lived in hope of seeing a sequel.
8/10
1969 Charro!
This movie could have been so much better than it is. Which isn’t saying much, seeing that it is awful. It’s a Spaghetti western without the sex and violence. The dramatic title track opening the film raises expectations. But the film just meanders, lamely, like a bad and overblown episode of the High Chaparral or Bonanza. It looks more like a TV film and lacks the cinematic quality it needed. More than anything, though, it’s just boring and not remotely believable. It’s full of clichés. And Elvis just isn’t implausible as the ‘man with no name,’ not least because he announces his name in the opening scene. The storyline just isn’t interesting. The can-can girls are about as sexy as Morris dancers. The film is full of threat and confrontation, but none of the protagonists are remotely believable. Apart from the title track sung over the opening credits and the unusual sight of Elvis with a beard, there is nothing to see here. The story is less-than-gripping and the acting even worse. Utter tedium.
3/10
1969 The Trouble with Girls (and How to Get Into It).
I didn't see it this Christmas season, but do know it. It's an unusual film, which has roles for horror legends Vincent Price and John Carradine.
1969 Change of Habit
The opening scene of three nuns unnunning themselves is the kind of nun striptease that some find strangely appealing. It helps, of course, that they are young and pretty nuns, and not Old Mother Hubbard. Strange how that always happens. Good hip music from Elvis with the title track whilst Rubberneckin’ helps establish the contemporary feel. Elvis looks good, and comfortable in a very different role. ‘Was it the same guy?’ The nuns want to be accepted as women rather than as nuns – it didn’t take long. ‘The last three nurses couldn’t take it, two of them got raped, one of them even against her will.’ It sets the scene, and makes you wonder what the Hell is coming down the line. ‘You’ll never make it in this neighbourhood.’
Good, gritty action, with people who actually look and sound like real people. That’s the way the movie was cast, shot, and directed. There is fun at the football. And an autistic girl with a dubious diagnosis who is subject to even more dubious treatment. Still, we can honour the attempt to portray autism sympathetically, even if the overt presumption is that autism is a debilitating condition in need of a cure, the 'cure' here involving Elvis shaking the little girl repeatedly and shouting at her until she becomes 'normal.' Even when they try to do it right they do it wrong. It's little wonder they tended to stick to fun'n'sun'girls.
Elvis actually looks so comfortable in his role that it doesn’t seem like a role at all – at last you don’t see performance and mechanics. It’s raher a pity that this was his last film. His acting ambitions had been diverted and, in truth, thwarted, but just as he was getting good at it, the films came to an end. But if this was to be the end, it was a good way to go. For once, the obligatory song sung to the ‘cute’ kid is uplifting rather than nauseating. The presence of Mary Tyler Moore helps. There is some rough stuff in the neighbourhood. One nun gets involved in political protests and becomes some kind of a communist. And the whole thing ends up with a sing-song at the church, with Elvis leading the way with Let us Sing Together. The Catholic Church wins out, and in an alarming burst of heresy Mary Tyler More chooses God rather than Elvis. Which is a kind of happy ending. I thought this film was really good and thoroughly engaging. But I did have a teacher who was an ex-nun and who brought her guitar into school for the occasional sing-song.
10/10
THE RANKINGS
I can only repeat that these rankings are based on enjoyment factor as I watched the films over Christmas and New Year, and not any assessment of the films as films. It is likely that the ratings will be different should I come to do it all again next Christmas (and why not, seeing as it was so enjoyable this Christmas?) I shall include the films I didn't see, but know well, as a gauge. In my not so humble opinion, only the bottom four films are utterly awful, and films I would not want to watch ever again. Apart from Paradise Hawaiian Style.
1. Follow That Dream (1962) 10/10
2. King Creole (1958) 10/10
3. Change of Habit (1969) 10/10
4. Tickle Me (1965) 10/10
5. Viva Las Vegas (1964) 9/10
6. Kid Galahad (1962) 9/10
7. Wild in the Country (1961) 8/10
8. Loving You (1957) 8/10
9. Live a Little, Love a Little (1968) 8/10
10. Blue Hawaii (1961) 7/10
11. Roustabout (1964) 7/10
12. Jailhouse Rock (1957) 7/10
13. Frankie and Johnny (1966) 7/10
14. Flaming Star (1960) 7/10
15. Easy Come, Easy Go (1967) 7/10
16. G.I. Blues (1960) 6/10
17. Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962) 6/10
18. Harum Scarum (1965) 6/10
19. Kissin' Cousins (1964) 6/10
20. Love Me Tender (1956) 7/10
21. Clambake (1967) 6/10
22. Stay Away, Joe (1968) 6/10
23. Fun in Acapulco (1963) 6/10
24. Double Trouble (1967) 6/10
25. The Trouble with Girls (and how to get into it) (1969) 6/10
26. Girl Happy (1965) 5/10
27. Spinout (1966) 5/10
28. It Happened at the World's Fair (1963) 4/10
29. Paradise, Hawaiian Style (1966) 3/10
30. Speedway (1968) 3/10
31. Charro! (1969) 3/10